Twelve months, in the order things actually become urgent

Most wedding checklists are sorted by month, as though everything due in month nine mattered equally. It does not. There are four or five dependencies in a wedding, and the rest can happen more or less whenever. Here are the dependencies.

First: the date and the venue, together

These two are one choice, not two. The venue you want has weekends free, and those decide the date more than you do. Do not set the date first and look for a venue afterwards — you will be searching an empty set and end up with your third choice of place.

And before you can ask a venue anything sensible, you need an approximate number of guests. Not the list, just the order of magnitude: sixty, a hundred, or a hundred and sixty. Those three numbers lead to completely different venues.

Then: the guest list, before the invitations

The guest list is the thing everything else hangs on, and it is also the most emotional. Set it up once, in one tool, with sides and groups from the start. Two parallel lists in two documents is how somebody gets invited twice and somebody not at all.

• Enter the whole household, children included, and mark who is actually invited.
• Mark the side straight away. It is easy now and an archaeological dig in March.
• Add an email address where you have one. That is what makes the replies easy later.
• If you already have the list in a spreadsheet: import it, do not type it in again.

Next: the vendors there are few of

Photographers, bands and the best catering kitchens are booked a year ahead in high season. Florists and printers are not. Spend the early time on what is scarce and let what is plentiful wait — that is the one piece of prioritising that actually saves you something.

When you ask, ask about the counties they travel to and not only where they are based. A photographer in Bergen who will happily drive to Voss is relevant for a wedding at Voss; one in Oslo who does not leave the city is not, however good the portfolio.

About three months out: the run sheet

The run sheet is the last big thing, and the only one that cannot be made early — it depends on everything else. Write it with times and someone responsible per item, not just an order. “Toastmaster welcomes everyone” with no name beside it is a job nobody has taken.

Two things are worth knowing. The morning often runs in two tracks — the bride in one place, the groom in another — and the two need a sheet each, with the shared items on both. And the photographer and the toastmaster need the plan but not your account: a share link gives them the read-only view without the internal notes.

The last week: the seating chart, and nothing else new

The seating chart is finished last, because the cancellations come last. Expect to move between four and twelve people during that final week. Do not start anything new in it — not a new sign, not a new surprise, not a new vendor.

After the day there is one thing left, and it is always underestimated: the thank-you cards. Knowing who gave what, and who has been thanked, is a list you will be glad somebody kept in order while the evening went on.